By Folu
Some days, I wake up and wonder how I carry it all.
Other days, I don’t have the luxury to wonder — I just do.
I wear many hats. And not the glamorous kind that make magazine covers. I wear the hat of a mother to a beautiful, intelligent, special human — my son, Akintade. I wear the hat of an autism advocate, pushing for visibility, resources, and understanding in a world that still whispers “difference” like it’s a flaw. I wear the hat of a tech leader — solution architect, strategist, builder — working in fast-paced, often high-pressure environments where precision and innovation are currency.
Each role demands a version of me, a full version. But the truth is — I am all of them at once, every single day.
The Juggle is Real
Balancing these roles isn’t just a matter of time — it’s a matter of heart. It’s the phone calls from carers in the middle of a Teams meeting. It’s the late nights spent reviewing code or solution diagrams while simultaneously comforting a meltdown or preparing medication. It’s logging into Teams with my corporate face, when just minutes earlier I was deep in the trenches of emotional caregiving.
No one sees the full weight. But I feel it.
I face judgment in both worlds. In tech, some may question my capacity because I’m a full-time carer. In special needs circles, some assume I can’t relate fully because I “have it together.” The assumptions hurt, but I no longer wear them. I choose instead to wear grace.
My Coping Strategy: Faith, Structure, and Smiles
I cope through my faith. I lean hard into my belief that God never gives more than I can carry. When storms come — and they do come — I remind myself that I’m not walking alone.
I’ve also built a structure that works for my life. Calendars, routines, systems — the same mindset I apply in tech, I use to manage my household. I plan meals like I plan infrastructure rollouts. I allocate time for Akintade’s therapies like I assign project milestones. And when things go wrong, I troubleshoot both home and work with the same calm resolve.
But above all, I cope with a smile. Not because everything is perfect. But because my smile is my rebellion against burnout, bitterness, and breakdown. My smile is how I remind the world — and myself — that joy still lives here.
Why I Do It: My Children. My Akintade.
Everything I do, I do with them in mind. Akintade is more than a son. He is a light. His presence changed the way I view success, beauty, intelligence — and humanity. He’s why I fight so fiercely for inclusion, awareness, and access.
My other children are just as important. They’re my backbone, my reason to keep showing up when life tries to pull the curtain down. I want them to see what love in motion looks like. What purpose with pain looks like. What leadership with compassion looks like.
The Unseen Resilience
People see the wins — the presentations, the progress, the polished Instgram and TikTok post. What they don’t see is the cost. The sleepless nights. The cancelled plans. The crying in silence. The battle to stay soft in a hard world.
But I am resilient. I’ve learned to bend without breaking, to pause without quitting. My strength doesn’t come from perfection — it comes from my willingness to get back up. Every. Single. Time.
A Word to the World
So if you see someone “doing it all,” don’t envy them. Envy sees the crown but ignores the thorns. Instead, offer kindness. Offer help. Offer understanding.
And if you’re the one juggling many hats — remember, you are not alone. You are powerful, even when tired. You are worthy, even when unseen. And your smile — that beautiful, defiant smile — might just be the light someone else needs to carry on.
Let’s create a world where we choose kindness, always. Not because it’s easy — but because it’s necessary. For people like me. For families like mine. For special humans like Akintade.
This is my purpose. This is my fight. This is my gift to the world.
#MotherhoodJourney #AutismAdvocate #WomenInTech #TechMum #CarerLife #SpecialNeedsParenting #FaithAndResilience #BlackWomenInTech #LifeWithAutism #WorkingMumLife #ParentingWithPurpose #NeurodiversityMatters #InclusionMatters #SmileThroughTheStorm #MumOnAMission #EmpoweredMotherhood #PurposeDrivenLife #StrongWomenStories #CaregiverChronicles #KindnessFirst
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