There’s a particular silence many of us know too well. It isn’t the peaceful, reflective kind. It’s the type that tightens your chest, that follows a great idea being ignored in the boardroom only to be applauded later when repeated by someone else. It’s the silence that trails behind every achievement you downplay because you don’t want to seem like you’re “showing off.” It’s the voice you learn to muffle, as a coloured woman—especially when you’re navigating executive spaces while raising children.
The Unspoken Struggles of a Professional Coloured Woman
1. You’re Expected to Be Exceptional—But Not Too Loud About It
As a coloured woman, you are expected to prove yourself twice as much. Competence is your bare minimum. Excellence is expected. But pride? That’s unwelcome. When you speak about your promotions, your successful projects, or your impact, there’s often a shift in the room. That subtle shift that suggests: Tone it down. Don’t make others uncomfortable with your greatness.
2. Jealousy at Home: When Success Becomes a Wedge
Sometimes, the deepest pain doesn’t come from the workplace—it starts at home. When you start to earn more, achieve more, or even dream more, it can trigger insecurity in a partner who feels left behind or emasculated. Your wins feel like weapons in the wrong context. Even in-laws may whisper—“She’s too ambitious”, “She doesn’t respect her husband”, or the ever-familiar “She’s not raising the children properly.”
You become “too much” for a world that still clings to outdated gender roles, especially when your skin isn’t white.
3. Raising Children While Climbing Ladders
There’s a unique guilt reserved for women—magnified if you’re a coloured woman with big dreams. You worry about missing school plays while trying to secure deals. You fear judgment from the mothers at the school gate. You get called “selfish” for dreaming beyond diapers and dinner. And when you’re successful? You’re judged even more harshly for it.
4. Prejudice in the Workplace
- Microaggressions: Being mistaken for the admin staff. Being told you’re “well-spoken” as if it’s a surprise. Having your assertiveness mistaken for aggression.
- Tokenism: Being placed on panels or diversity boards not because of your talent, but because of how your presence “looks.”
- Silencing: When you speak out against discrimination, you risk being labelled “angry,” “difficult,” or “a troublemaker.” Even HR can become complicit, more interested in protecting the company image than your dignity.
How Do You Navigate All This in the Western World?
It’s a complex dance—one foot in authenticity, one in survival. But it’s possible to honour yourself and your voice. Here’s how:
Advice & Coping Techniques
1. Know Your Worth—Even When Others Can’t See It
Your value isn’t determined by validation. Keep a Success Journal. Write down every win—big or small. This helps rewire your brain to internalise your accomplishments without guilt.
2. Build Your Own Inner Circle
You need people who get it. Find or create support groups of women like you—online or in-person. Safe spaces where you can vent, strategise, cry, laugh, and grow without judgement.
3. Therapy is Not a Luxury—It’s Liberation
Especially when you’re breaking generational curses. Therapy can help you unpack internalised racism, sexism, and the trauma of being constantly othered.
4. Protect Your Energy
Not everyone deserves access to your dreams, especially those who diminish them. This includes friends, relatives, and sometimes—even romantic partners. Learn to love from a distance when needed.
5. Find Mentors—And Be One
Seek out mentors who understand the terrain, even if they aren’t in your exact field. And then become that mentor for someone else. Your voice may feel silenced in rooms today, but you are blazing trails for tomorrow.
6. Document Everything
If you’re facing workplace discrimination, keep receipts. Emails. Memos. Witnesses. HR isn’t always your friend—but evidence is power.
7. Reclaim the Narrative
Talk about your wins. Brag on your name. Whether it’s LinkedIn, your blog, or around your kids—show them that coloured women do succeed. And we can be proud of it.
Final Word: Don’t Dim Your Light
Success as a coloured woman is not just personal—it’s political. Every promotion, every boundary you set, every time you speak up—you’re disrupting a system that wasn’t designed for you to win.
So speak anyway. Shine anyway. Love your children, chase your goals, wear your crown, and raise your voice. Even when it shakes. Especially when it shakes.
You were never too much. They were simply not enough to handle your light.
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