You are my first child, the child of my youth, my womb opener. I still vividly remember when you were diagnosed with autism at just 2.5 years old. Before that moment, I noticed some early signs—things that made me worry deeply. You struggled to maintain eye contact, didn’t respond to your name the way I expected, and often seemed distant, as if the world around you was too overwhelming. I watched you retreat into your own space, and my heart ached. Those days were filled with fear, worry, and endless trips to doctors and specialists. I was searching for answers, desperate to understand what was happening, and terrified for your little brother, who I carried in my womb at the time. I was paranoid, afraid, and confused.
The day your brother was born, I cried. I remember holding him in my arms and apologizing to my tiny baby. I felt guilt—guilt for not being able to give him a brother who would sing to him, rock him to sleep, or grow up alongside him in the way I had always imagined. I wonder if you saw the fear in my eyes during those times. There were moments when you would cry, then suddenly stop, turning to look at me as if you understood. It was as though you knew my fears without me ever having to say a word.
Since then, I have fought many battles—strangers giving us looks, hospitals for the right treatment, social services for the support we needed, and the educational system for a school that would be the best fit for you. I threw myself into work, determined to give you the best life I could. There have been days when I felt exhausted, but each small progress you made kept us going. Every step forward you’ve taken has been a prayer answered. Even if parents of neurotypical children might not understand, I celebrate every little milestone, for they are victories for you and for us.
Akintade, you have come so far. You can now sit calmly, communicate in your own way, and make sense of the world around you on your terms. I’ve learned that God’s beauty shines through our children in different ways, each one unique. People often ask me when you’ll get a job, get married, or have children of your own. What they don’t realise is that God’s miracles unfold in their own time. I am overjoyed with the things you can do now—the things I once thought you might never be able to achieve. You tidy up your own centre, the Tade Autism Centre, organizing everything for yourself and the others who benefit from it. Without any spoken word or formal contract, you’ve earned your place as the CEO of your own centre. God has truly been good to you, my son.
I look to God every day as He continues to reveal His special plan for your life. Through it all, I’ve faced challenges, persecution, and pain because of the world’s lack of understanding, but it has opened my eyes to the greater things God has in store. As a Christian, I trust that He makes everything beautiful in His time, and I will forever be grateful for the precious gift that is you.
I love you always, Your mother
Folu
Founder Tade Autism centre , Autism Treatment Support initiatives
You can follow Take Autism Centre on Instagram @tadeautism.center
Section 41 of the Children and Families Act 2014 allows the Secretary of State to publish a list of approved independent educational institutions, independent special schools, and post-16 institutions that parents and young people can request to be named on their child’s Education, Health and Care (EHC) plan. This list enables more choice for parents while ensuring the schools meet certain standards.
General Pros of Section 41 Schools:
Specialisation: These schools typically offer specialised education and support tailored to specific disabilities and learning needs.
Focused Resources: They often have access to resources, therapies, and equipment that mainstream schools might not offer.
Smaller Class Sizes: Typically, these schools have smaller classes which allow for more personalized attention and tailored teaching strategies.
Expert Staff: Staff in these schools are usually highly trained in SEN strategies and are experienced in dealing with complex educational needs.
General Cons of Section 41 Schools:
Limited Availability: There might be fewer spaces available, leading to potential difficulties in securing a placement.
Distance: Sometimes the best-suited school for a child’s needs might not be nearby, meaning longer travel times or even boarding arrangements.
Cost: While costs are typically covered under the EHC plan, there can be additional expenses associated with specialized resources or therapies.
Admission Process: The process can be lengthy and complex, requiring detailed assessments and potentially facing bureaucratic hurdles.
Admission Process:
Assessment and EHC Plan: To gain admission to a Section 41 school, the child must first be assessed by their local authority to determine their specific educational needs. This process involves creating an Education, Health and Care (EHC) plan that outlines these needs and the provisions required to meet them.
Choosing a School: Parents can then request a particular Section 41 school to be named in the EHC plan. The choice should be based on the school’s ability to meet the child’s specific needs as outlined in the EHC plan.
Consultation and Approval: The local authority will consult the chosen school to see if they can meet the child’s needs and whether they have a place available. The school’s consent is required unless there are exceptional circumstances.
Finalisation: If the school agrees and the local authority finalises the placement, arrangements will be made for the child’s admission. If disagreements arise, parents may appeal to the Special Educational Needs and Disability (SEND) Tribunal.
How to Find Section 41 Schools:
The UK government maintains a current list of Section 41-approved schools on its official website. Parents can search this list to find suitable schools by location, type of need, and educational stage. Visits to potential schools and discussions with staff can also be beneficial in making an informed decision.
This process can be challenging, and it’s often helpful for parents to seek advice from SEN advisors or legal experts in education law to navigate the system effectively.
As an educator, a tech leader, and a parent who attended a Russell Group university—and whose children are currently studying STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) courses at Russell Group institutions—I often get asked why I didn’t encourage them to apply to Oxford or Cambridge. The allure of Oxbridge is undeniable, especially for certain fields of study, but when it comes to STEM and medicine, I have my reasons for steering them in a different direction.
That said, I fully recognize that Oxford and Cambridge are exceptional choices for other disciplines, particularly degrees in Law, History, Politics, International Relations, Business, and the humanities. Here’s why I support Oxbridge for those areas—and why I’ve chosen other paths for my kids in STEM.
1. Innovation Thrives Outside Tradition in STEM
Oxford and Cambridge are world-class institutions, but their strength in tradition can sometimes slow the pace of innovation, especially in rapidly evolving fields like STEM and medicine. While history and prestige are critical, the fields of science and technology demand environments that prioritize innovation over adherence to centuries-old structures.
Russell Group universities and other leading institutions worldwide have embraced the rapid advancement of interdisciplinary research, allowing students to gain hands-on experience with cutting-edge technologies. In my own career in tech, I’ve seen how critical it is for students to develop problem-solving skills in environments where medicine intersects with data science or engineering blends with artificial intelligence. This type of forward-thinking education may not always be nurtured within Oxbridge’s more traditional frameworks.
2. Theoretical Rigor Is Better Suited for Law, History, and Politics
However, for degrees like Law, History, and Politics, the Oxbridge model of education—built on centuries of deep intellectual engagement—plays to its strengths. The famous tutorial and supervision systems provide students with the unique opportunity to engage in rich, one-on-one discussions with experts, focusing on the complexities of theory, ethics, and argumentation.
In fields like Law, where understanding jurisprudence, legal precedent, and philosophical reasoning are central, Oxford and Cambridge offer the perfect breeding ground for developing analytical and critical thinking skills. Their long history and global reputation also make them prime destinations for International Relations and Politics, where the study of diplomacy, government, and policy can benefit from centuries of accumulated knowledge.
3. Hands-On Experience Matters More for STEM
In STEM and medicine, hands-on experience is key to success. While Oxbridge is undoubtedly strong in theoretical learning, STEM and medical students need more than just intellectual engagement; they need practical experience.
My children, who are studying STEM at Russell Group universities, are getting early access to cutting-edge research facilities, industry partnerships, and real-world labs. These experiences are invaluable in developing the hands-on problem-solving skills that are crucial in the fast-moving world of science and technology. In contrast, Oxbridge’s more traditional academic framework often leaves students focusing on theory for longer, which may delay their exposure to practical applications until later in their studies.
4. Success in Business: A Different Kind of Classroom
While Business and STEM share some common ground, Business studies at Oxford or Cambridge benefit enormously from the focus on theory, case studies, and global economic frameworks. Oxbridge’s prestige, connections, and rigorous academic approach are invaluable assets for students looking to enter the business world.
The global alumni network at Oxbridge, along with access to elite guest speakers and influential professionals, provides business students with unique opportunities to build relationships that last a lifetime. Their programs prepare students to think critically and strategically about business, finance, and global markets. This is a different type of preparation than what is needed in STEM, where innovation and immediate practical skills often take precedence.
5. A Global Perspective for International Relations
For International Relations, Politics, and History, the centuries-old global influence of Oxford and Cambridge can’t be overstated. Students gain access to some of the world’s leading minds in diplomacy, international policy, and global governance, often studying alongside future global leaders.
The rich history of these institutions creates an ideal environment for examining political theory, historical change, and the evolution of international systems. With a network of alumni that reaches into global governance bodies, international organizations, and think tanks, Oxbridge provides unparalleled opportunities for students in these fields to shape their future careers.
6. A World Beyond the Ivory Tower for STEM
One of my key concerns with Oxford and Cambridge for STEM and medicine is the sense of isolation from the practical world, often referred to as the “ivory tower” effect. While intellectual depth is critical, it is equally important for children to develop skills that are directly applicable to the real world.
Universities like Imperial College London, Manchester, Nottingham, Birmingham and Edinburgh are highly integrated into industry, offering students the chance to work on real-world projects, internships, and placements that connect academic knowledge with practical application. This hands-on exposure is less common at Oxbridge, especially during the early stages of STEM courses.
Why Oxbridge Is the Best for Law, History, and Humanities
That said, I have no reservations about encouraging students to apply to Oxford and Cambridge for degrees in Law, History, Economics Politics, International Relations, Business and other humanities. These institutions offer unparalleled resources, expert mentorship, and intellectual depth that are well-suited to these fields. Their tradition and focus on theoretical mastery, analytical skills, and critical thinking make them ideal for students who are passionate about understanding the complexities of the world through historical, political, and legal lenses.
For STEM and medicine, however, I believe there are better, more forward-thinking environments that provide students with the practical experience, interdisciplinary collaboration, and innovation-driven learning that these fields require. Students studying STEM at Russell Group universities, are thriving in dynamic, hands-on environments that push them to solve real-world challenges. In the end, the best education is one that prepares you for tomorrow’s problems, not just yesterday’s accolades.
To discuss STEM admissions into top University, email folu@thisisfolu.uk
Autism is often portrayed as a mysterious, enigmatic condition—a puzzle that the world is still trying to piece together. But for those who live with autism and those who love them, it is not just a condition; it’s a unique way of experiencing the world, a mind that dances to a different rhythm, sees in patterns, and speaks through actions rather than words. This is especially true for my son, Akintade, a 28-year-old who is non verbal, yet his mind communicates in ways that leave us in awe.
A Puzzle Master with a Brilliant Mind
Akintade has a talent that can only be described as extraordinary. He is a master of puzzles, not just in the figurative sense but literally. He can solve thousands of puzzles in a matter of minutes, piecing together images, colors, and shapes with an ease that most of us can only dream of. Watching him work is like witnessing a form of magic—each piece falling into place as if guided by an unseen hand.
It’s more than just a skill; it’s a window into how his brain is wired. For Akintade, puzzles are not just a game; they are a language, a way of expressing thoughts and ideas that he cannot convey with words. It’s as though the pieces he connects are reflections of his thoughts, laid out on the table for the world to see.
The Human GPS: A Mind that Maps
One of Akintade’s most astonishing abilities is his uncanny sense of location. Imagine walking through a massive car park, vehicles scattered everywhere, and within minutes, Akintade can pinpoint exactly where a particular car is parked. This ability is not a fluke or a party trick; it is a demonstration of his extraordinary memory and spatial awareness.
This skill harkens back to when Akintade was just over six months old. Even then, he demonstrated an almost superhuman ability to remember where he had left his toys. Days could pass, but when he wanted that toy again, he would go straight to the exact spot where he had left it. It was as though his mind mapped the world around him with such precision that nothing ever got lost.
Autism: The Brain Unwasted
The term “brain wasted” is often thrown around when discussing individuals with autism, especially those who are non-verbal. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Akintade’s brain is anything but wasted; it is a reservoir of untapped potential, a vessel for talents and abilities that defy conventional understanding.
Autism does not diminish intelligence or worth; it redirects it, molds it into different forms that can be just as beautiful, just as powerful, and just as meaningful as the typical paths. Akintade’s abilities remind us that intelligence is not one-dimensional. It is not solely defined by speech or traditional learning; it is a spectrum of capabilities, each shining in its own light.
Embracing the Spectrum
As a society, it’s time we expand our understanding of what it means to be intelligent, to be talented, to be human. Akintade’s story is one of many that highlights the beauty of neurodiversity—the idea that variations in the human brain are not deficiencies, but rather different ways of seeing and interacting with the world.
For parents, caregivers, and anyone who loves someone with autism, the journey is not always easy. There are challenges, moments of frustration, and times when the world feels isolating. But there are also moments of pure wonder, like watching your son solve a puzzle in seconds or marvel at how he can find a car in a sea of vehicles without breaking a sweat.
Autism is not a brain wasted; it’s a brain differently used. And in that difference, there is beauty, there is brilliance, and there is the undeniable truth that every mind, no matter how it functions, has the potential to contribute something extraordinary to the world.
A Call to Action
Let Akintade’s story serve as a reminder to look beyond the conventional, to appreciate the hidden talents that might not be immediately visible, and to celebrate the incredible abilities that individuals with autism bring to the table. Their contributions are not lesser; they are just different, and often, those differences are what make the world a richer, more vibrant place.
If you are a parent, caregiver, or educator, I encourage you to foster the unique talents of individuals with autism. Advocate for their inclusion in every aspect of life and support research and initiatives that seek to understand and celebrate neurodiversity.
Let’s share these stories and challenge the outdated notion of “brain wasted.” Together, we can build a world that values every mind, every talent, and every individual for the unique contributions they bring to our world. One day, I will share Akintade’s story, it’s bound to be mind-blowing! Watch this page!
As a story teller, who finds tremendous joy and peace in writing, I write again today about my mum of blessed memory and the aftermath of her death.
Forty-two years. It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed since I last saw her smile, felt the warmth of her embrace, and heard her voice—soft and soothing—whispering words of comfort. I was only 14 when my world shattered, when Mum was taken from us so suddenly, so painfully. She was just 39, full of life, love, and dreams that would never come to pass. Her departure left an emptiness that nothing could ever truly fill.
Mum died during childbirth, I was no longer just the eldest child but a surrogate mother to my three younger sisters—aged 12, 10, and 4 years old. Our father, already in his 70s, was too frail to shoulder the burden alone. He did his best, but his age weighed heavily on him, and much of the responsibility fell on my young shoulders.
The days that followed were a blur of grief, fear, and overwhelming responsibility. I had to grow up overnight. There was no time to process my loss, no space to mourn the mother I so desperately needed. My sisters looked to me for guidance, for comfort, for a semblance of normalcy in a world that had turned upside down. I did my best to be strong for them, to be the pillar they could lean on. But inside, I was just a broken child, struggling to keep my head above water in a sea of sorrow.
As the years passed, the weight of responsibility grew heavier. When Dad passed away just five years later, at 19, I found myself orphaned, alone in the truest sense, but with three little girls depending on me. University was a challenge I could hardly face. While my peers worried about grades and social life, I was juggling school work with the demands of raising my sisters. Every day was a battle—to keep up with my studies, to keep the household running, to keep from falling apart.
But we made it through. Against all odds, I graduated. My sisters, my beautiful, resilient sisters, each followed in my footsteps. They graduated too, found love, built families of their own, and pursued careers with a passion that made me prouder than words could ever express. We grew up fast, perhaps too fast, but we emerged stronger, bound by a love that had been forged in the crucible of our shared pain.
Today marks 42 years since Mum left us. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, don’t wonder what life would have been like if she had been there to guide us, to share in our joys and comfort us in our sorrows. I see her in my sisters, in their kindness, their strength, their determination. I see her in my children, in their laughter, their curiosity, their love for life.
Though she’s been gone for so long, Mum’s presence has never left us. She lives on in the love that binds our family, in the memories that sustain us, in the lessons she taught us through the brief time we had with her.
Today, I am grateful. Grateful for the strength that saw us through the darkest days. Grateful for the love that carried us when we had nothing else to hold onto. Grateful for the grace that has brought us this far. We have built lives that honor her memory, lives filled with purpose, with love, with a determination to make the most of the time we have been given.
Mum, I miss you more than words can say. But I know you’re watching over us, proud of the people we’ve become. We’ve done our best, Mum. We’ve lived, we’ve loved, and we’ve carried on—just as you would have wanted us to.
Thank you for being our guiding light, even in your absence. Here’s to the love that never dies, to the memories that never fade, and to the legacy that lives on in all of us.
Forever in our hearts, Mum. We love you always.
Feel free to share your story in the comments or reach out if you need support, counseling, or a few words of encouragement. If you prefer one-on-one counseling, send me a direct message
From the moment my son was diagnosed with ADHD at an early age, my world tilted on its axis. Having already navigated the complex world of autism with my eldest son, this new diagnosis left me confused and scared. I felt like I was starting from scratch, yet again, in a world that often felt unsympathetic and bewildering.
Determined to find natural ways to help my son, I embarked on a journey of dietary changes and homemade meals. Our days were filled with the aroma of freshly baked gluten-free bread and homemade cakes. I eliminated fizzy drinks and biscuits from his diet, focusing instead on nourishing, wholesome foods. Slowly but surely, we began to see improvements. His concentration and behavior started to show signs of positive change, giving us a glimmer of hope.
Starting school, however, was a different challenge altogether. My second son was already attending an independent school, so I hoped they would consider my younger son as well. Unfortunately, the first day turned into a nightmare. As soon as they learned about my eldest son’s autism, they suggested a special school for my younger son. It was a heart-wrenching moment.
Desperate and determined, I decided to homeschool him. Balancing this with my tech job and caring for my three children with different needs was overwhelming. My days blurred into a whirlwind of teaching, working, and caring, but I knew I had to keep going. I realized that God had built me strong for this purpose.
My second son, exceptionally bright, thrived in the independent school environment. Meanwhile, my youngest, though very clever, struggled with concentration. I delved deep into research, becoming his sole teacher. I sacrificed my social life, dedicating myself entirely to my children’s education and well-being.
Finding the right secondary school for my son was another uphill battle. However, his outstanding scores in the 11 plus entrance exams, with 99% in Verbal Reasoning, Non-Verbal Reasoning, and Maths, opened doors. He gained admission to a boarding school where he thrived until he turned 13 and decided he no longer wanted to stay there. Once again, I homeschooled him for a year before finding a nurturing school that suited his needs.
Despite the odds, he made remarkable progress. He wrote his GCSEs and set his sights on studying Computer Science at the same top Russell Group university as his brother. Though I had my reservations about the rigors of such a degree, my son was adamant. He begged me to believe in him, and I couldn’t refuse. I became his Maths and Computer Science tutor, spending sleepless nights in hard work and prayer.
The day he received his acceptance letter was one of the happiest moments of my life. I cried for hours, overwhelmed with pride and relief. Dreams do come true when you believe. My son has defied the odds, earning his BSc in Computer Science, and tomorrow he graduates.
I am in awe of his resilience and determination. To God be the glory for the great things He has done and the great things He will continue to do. Please join me in congratulating my hardworking and resilient son, who has made me incredibly proud.
A Mother’s Gratitude
As I look back on our journey, I am filled with gratitude. For every challenge we faced, there was a moment of triumph. For every tear shed in frustration, there was a tear of joy. This journey has taught me that with faith, hard work, and unwavering belief, dreams do come true.
To all the parents out there navigating similar paths, remember: you are stronger than you think, and your children are capable of incredible things. Celebrate every victory, no matter how small, and never stop believing in the power of your love and dedication.
The Cornerstone of Success: Teaching Our Children the Value of Character
In an era dominated by technological advancements, academic achievements, and the relentless pursuit of success, it’s easy to overlook the fundamental aspect that shapes individuals and societies alike: character. As parents, educators, and mentors, we have a profound responsibility to instill in our children the value of character, for it is the bedrock upon which all true success is built.
Recently, my youngest son asked me a question that many young professionals ponder: “What is the best thing to do at work in order to pass probation?” While we know we’ve given him the gift of education, I told him that good character is what will make him not just a better worker, but also a good son, friend, and brother.
Why Character Matters
Character encompasses the moral and ethical qualities that define who we are. It includes traits like integrity, empathy, responsibility, and perseverance. While academic knowledge and technical skills are crucial, character is what enables individuals to use their abilities in ways that are beneficial to themselves and society. Here’s why teaching our children the value of character is imperative:
Foundation for Trust and Relationships
Trust is the cornerstone of all healthy relationships, whether personal or professional. Children who understand and practice honesty and integrity are better equipped to build meaningful connections. Trustworthy individuals are valued in every sphere of life.
Guidance Through Ethical Dilemmas
Life is filled with challenging decisions that require more than just intellectual acumen. A strong moral compass helps children navigate these dilemmas with grace and wisdom, ensuring that their choices reflect their values and contribute positively to society.
Resilience and Perseverance
The path to success is rarely smooth. Teaching children the importance of resilience and perseverance equips them to handle setbacks and failures with a positive attitude. Character-driven individuals are more likely to persist through challenges and emerge stronger.
Contribution to Community and Society
Individuals with strong character are often driven by a sense of responsibility towards their community. They understand the impact of their actions on others and strive to contribute positively. This sense of social responsibility is crucial for creating a cohesive and harmonious society.
How to Teach the Value of Character
Lead by Example
Children are keen observers and often emulate the behavior of adults around them. Demonstrating qualities like honesty, kindness, and responsibility in your actions is the most effective way to teach these values. Show them how to handle challenges with integrity and treat others with respect.
Encourage Empathy and Compassion
Teach children to put themselves in others’ shoes. Encourage them to understand and share the feelings of others. Simple acts of kindness, volunteer work, and discussions about different perspectives can foster empathy and compassion.
Promote Responsibility and Accountability
Give children responsibilities appropriate to their age and hold them accountable for their actions. This helps them understand the importance of fulfilling commitments and the consequences of their behaviour. Praise their efforts and guide them gently when they make mistakes.
Foster a Growth Mindset
Encourage children to view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. Teach them that effort and perseverance are more important than innate talent. This mindset not only builds resilience but also instills a lifelong love for learning and self-improvement.
Incorporate Character Education in School Curriculum
Schools play a vital role in character development. Incorporating character education into the curriculum ensures that children learn about values such as respect, fairness, and citizenship alongside academic subjects. Activities like group projects, discussions on ethical issues, and community service can reinforce these lessons.
The Long-Term Benefits
Instilling the value of character in our children does more than prepare them for immediate success. It lays the foundation for a fulfilling and meaningful life. Character-driven individuals are more likely to experience lasting happiness, form strong relationships, and make positive contributions to their communities and the world at large.
When my son asked about succeeding at work, I emphasised that while his education has equipped him with the necessary skills, it is his character that will truly make him stand out. Being reliable, honest, and considerate will not only help him pass probation but also build a reputation that will open doors throughout his career.
In conclusion, while the world continues to evolve and the definition of success expands, the importance of character remains constant. By teaching our children the value of character, we are not only shaping their future but also ensuring the well-being and progress of society as a whole. Let us commit to this noble endeavor, for in the words of the great philosopher Aristotle, “Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.”
