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Tag: greatness

  • Being Nigerian in Diaspora: A Blessing and a Curse?

    To be Nigerian in the diaspora is to live a dual reality—one filled with incredible triumphs and equally poignant struggles. It’s a story of blessings that illuminate your path and challenges that sometimes cast shadows, all while carrying the essence of a rich and diverse culture.

    In this blog, I dive into the paradox of being a Nigerian abroad—why it feels like both a blessing and a curse.

    The Blessing: Resilience, Excellence, and Cultural Pride

    Unmatched Resilience and Adaptability:
    One of the greatest blessings of being Nigerian is our inherent ability to adapt. Wherever we go, we learn, evolve, and thrive, turning even the most challenging circumstances into opportunities. This resilience is a trait that sets Nigerians apart and fuels the stories of many who have risen to prominence despite odds stacked against them.

    Excelling in Education and Careers:
    Nigerians in the diaspora are known for their pursuit of excellence. As one of the most educated immigrant groups, we dominate fields like medicine, law, technology, and the arts. From CEOs to academics, Nigerians don’t just succeed; they shine, becoming a testament to hard work and brilliance.

    Cultural Pride and Vibrancy:
    There’s nothing quite like the pride of showcasing Nigerian culture abroad. Whether it’s through our bold Ankara prints, intricate Aso Ebi outfits, or Afrobeats music that has taken the world by storm, Nigerians bring vibrancy and joy wherever they go. This cultural pride is a beacon that keeps us grounded and connected, no matter how far we roam.

    Strong Family Values and Community Spirit:
    Our commitment to family is a hallmark of Nigerian identity. Abroad, Nigerians build close-knit communities, raising children with values of respect, ambition, and discipline. These values often result in second-generation Nigerians excelling in their own right, continuing the legacy of their parents.

    The Curse: Stigma, Stereotypes, and Struggles

    Criticism of Our Homeland:
    The Nigerian diaspora often grapples with the stigma attached to our homeland. From conversations about corruption to the global perception of scams, Nigeria is often seen through a negative lens. This can be disheartening, especially when even fellow Nigerians, like Kemi Badenoch, reinforce these stereotypes on a global stage.

    Suspicion and Stereotyping:
    Being Nigerian abroad sometimes means being viewed with suspicion. Whether it’s at work, in shops, or even in casual social settings, there’s a persistent question hanging in the air: “Can they be trusted?” These microaggressions, though subtle, can weigh heavily over time, making it harder to fully integrate into society.

    Struggles for Recognition:
    Despite our many achievements, Nigerians in the diaspora often struggle to gain the recognition they deserve. At work, our ideas might be overlooked or credited to someone else. In society, our contributions can be undervalued, as if excellence from a Nigerian is an exception rather than the rule.

    Pressure to Represent:
    Carrying the weight of a nation on your shoulders can be exhausting. Every action feels like it represents not just you, but Nigeria as a whole. This constant pressure can make everyday challenges feel magnified, leaving little room for mistakes or missteps.

    A Complex Truth: Proudly Nigerian, Always

    Is being a Nigerian in diaspora a blessing or a curse? The answer is both—and yet, it’s a complexity we wear with pride. The blessing lies in the richness of our culture, the strength of our resilience, and the brilliance of our achievements. The curse is in the stigma, the stereotypes, and the uphill battles for acceptance.

    But no matter the challenges, we remain unapologetically proud. To be Nigerian is to embody a spirit that can’t be broken. It’s to rise above obstacles, to represent a nation with grace and dignity, and to boldly declare, wherever we go, “I am Nigerian.”

    What’s your take? Is being Nigerian in diaspora more of a blessing or a curse? Let’s discuss in the comments.

    #NigeriansInDiaspora #ProudlyNigerian #AfricanDiaspora #ResilienceAndPride #BlessingAndCurse #DiasporaLife #NaijaAbroad #LivingAbroad #NigerianCulture #AfricanIdentity

  • 20 Things Not to Say to a Mother of an Autistic Child (and Why They’re Offensive)

    1. “He doesn’t look autistic.”
      • Autism is an invisible disability, and no one “looks” autistic. This comment dismisses the complexity of the condition, implying it’s something you can visually recognise.
    2. “He’ll grow out of it.”
      • Autism is a lifelong condition. Suggesting that a child can “outgrow” it diminishes the challenges and experiences they face and discredits the support they need.
    3. “Have you tried disciplining him better?”
      • This suggests that autism is a result of bad parenting or lack of discipline, which is untrue and hurtful.
    4. “It’s probably just a phase.”
      • Autism is not a phase; it’s a neurodevelopmental condition. Saying this implies the parent is overreacting to something temporary.
    5. “Everyone is a little autistic these days.”
      • While traits of autism can appear in neurotypical people, autism itself is a unique, often misunderstood condition that impacts daily life profoundly. This trivialises the struggles of autistic individuals and their families.
    6. “What caused it?”
      • This can be intrusive and assumes there’s a clear cause, which isn’t always known. It places unnecessary pressure on the parent to explain something beyond their control.
    7. “He’s so high-functioning, though!”
      • Functioning labels are harmful because they reduce a child’s experience to what someone else can see. Just because a child may appear capable in one setting doesn’t mean they don’t face significant challenges elsewhere.
    8. “He just needs to socialize more.”
      • Social difficulties are part of autism, and forcing a child into uncomfortable social situations can cause distress. This remark suggests that autism is simply a result of shyness or isolation, which is inaccurate.
    9. “I could never do what you do.”
      • While this may seem like a compliment, it can come off as condescending, as though the child’s challenges are insurmountable, and the parent is being praised for “dealing” with them.
    10. “At least he’s good at something.”
      • This reduces the child’s entire being to a talent or ability, ignoring their individuality and challenges. Autism doesn’t always come with savant abilities, and comments like this can diminish the child’s struggles.
    11. “Don’t worry, he’ll catch up.”
      • Autistic children don’t need to “catch up” to anyone. This comment implies that they’re behind, reinforcing societal expectations that don’t apply to every child.
    12. “Have you tried insert diet/supplement?”
      • Suggesting that a diet change or supplement can cure autism is insensitive and uninformed. Parents often hear this from well-meaning people, but it implies that autism is something to be fixed.
    13. “Boys are just slower to develop.”
      • Autism is not a developmental delay—it’s a different developmental pathway altogether. This statement dismisses the parent’s experience and understanding of their child’s needs.
    14. “It’s because of vaccines, isn’t it?”
      • The vaccine-autism myth has been widely debunked. Suggesting this links a mother’s choices to their child’s condition, which can feel accusatory and deeply upsetting.
    15. “He must be really smart in some way.”
      • This perpetuates the stereotype that all autistic individuals are savants. While some may have special talents, not all do. This comment can feel like a backhanded compliment, reducing the child’s identity to a stereotype.
    16. “God only gives special children to special parents.”
      • Though intended to be comforting, this can make a parent feel isolated, as though they’re being put on a pedestal for enduring challenges they didn’t choose.
    17. “Maybe if you spent more time with him, he’d improve.”
      • This implies that a lack of parental attention is to blame for the child’s difficulties. Autism is a complex neurological condition, not something that can be “fixed” with more parent-child time.
    18. “It’s just an excuse for bad behavior.”
      • This is extremely hurtful. Autistic children often behave differently because of sensory overload or difficulty communicating, not because they’re poorly behaved.
    19. “I heard autism is overdiagnosed.”
      • This minimizes the real struggles of autistic individuals and suggests that the parent’s experience isn’t valid.
    20. “I’m sorry.”
      • There’s no need to feel sorry for an autistic child or their family. Autism isn’t a tragedy; it’s just a different way of experiencing the world. Instead of pity, families need understanding, inclusion, and support.

    Each of these statements can be insensitive because they either dismiss the challenges that come with raising an autistic child or imply that the parent or child is somehow “wrong” for their experiences. Instead, it’s more supportive to listen, offer understanding, and recognize the child as a unique individual with their own strengths and challenges.

    #AutismAwareness #AutismMom #AutismParenting #Neurodiversity #SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismAcceptance #InvisibleDisability #AdvocatingForAutism #ParentingTips #AutismSupport #AutismCommunity #UnderstandingAutism #RespectAutism #InclusiveParenting #AutismJourney #LoveNotPity #AutismFamilies #AutismLife #AutismAdvocacy #AutismBlogging

  • Nigeria at 64: The Back and Forth Dance of Independence

    Today I write about my motherland Nigeria @ 64. On October 1st, 1960, Nigeria stood tall and proud, waving its green and white flag to the world as it declared itself free from the colonial chains of the British Empire. The country’s leaders beamed with optimism, painting a vision of a nation brimming with untapped potential—rich in natural resources, diverse in culture, and robust in its people’s resolve. The independence journey was hard-fought, marked by fierce debates, protests, and a collective desire to govern our own destiny. The world believed Nigeria was poised to become the shining beacon of Africa.

    But here we are, 64 years later, and that glimmer of hope has dimmed significantly. The same Nigeria that was once called the “Giant of Africa” seems stuck in an endless loop of back and forth. Progress is promised, but stagnation remains the reality.

    The Nigerian economy, once poised to flourish, has been battered by decades of mismanagement, corruption, and inconsistent policies. It’s a tale as old as time: oil booms have been squandered, agricultural potential left untapped, and opportunities for industrial growth missed. The country struggles under the weight of bad governance, where leaders are more focused on self-enrichment than national development. With rising inflation, unemployment, and a weak currency, it’s no wonder that millions of Nigerians find it increasingly difficult to make ends meet.

    This bleak situation has sparked an exodus—what we now refer to as brain drain. Our brightest minds, who once believed in the Nigerian dream, are now packing their bags and leaving for greener pastures. Doctors, engineers, teachers, tech experts, creatives—professionals who could have helped steer the nation towards greatness are finding solace abroad. The impact is devastating. Hospitals are understaffed, schools are ill-equipped, and innovation is stunted. The tech experts who could revolutionize industries are now building empires in Silicon Valley, London, or Dubai, while Nigeria is left to grapple with inadequate infrastructure and a stalling economy.

    The brain drain isn’t just a loss of talent; it’s a loss of hope. Every Nigerian that leaves represents another crack in the foundation of what could have been. The aftermath of bad governance is felt in the streets—young people unemployed, industries crippled, and the collective spirit of the nation worn down by the weight of broken promises.

    But what’s the way forward?

    First, we must tackle bad governance head-on. It starts with accountability. Leaders should be held to higher standards, and citizens must demand transparency. Economic policies need to be long-term, stable, and designed to empower local businesses, create jobs, and foster innovation. We need to diversify away from oil dependency and instead focus on agriculture, manufacturing, and tech. Nigeria should be a hub for startups, innovation, and industrial growth.

    Next, we must create an environment that makes it attractive for Nigerians in the diaspora to return home—what I call the “Japada Movement.” This isn’t just about patriotism; it’s about providing incentives. We need better infrastructure, access to capital for startups, and policies that favor job creation and innovation. The diaspora is a wellspring of talent, and by opening the doors wide enough, we can welcome back doctors, engineers, and innovators with the skills and experience necessary to drive the country forward.

    Lastly, the youth must be empowered. They are the future of Nigeria, and investing in education, skills training, and entrepreneurship is essential. By nurturing the next generation, we lay the groundwork for sustainable growth.

    Nigeria, despite its back-and-forth struggles, has not lost its potential. The road may be long and winding, but with collective effort and leadership that places the people’s interest above all else, we can reclaim our position as the true Giant of Africa.

    So, as we celebrate another Independence Day, let’s remember our journey—the highs, the lows, the steps forward, and the stumbles backward. Let’s reflect on where we are and what we can become. Together, we can make Nigeria great again.

    Happy Independence Day, Nigeria! May we rise above our challenges and soar higher than ever before.

    Share your memories!
    How did you celebrate past Independence Days? How are you spending today? Share your favorite moments from Independence Day in the comments! 🇳🇬💚

    #NigeriaAt64 #IndependenceDay #GiantOfAfrica #MakeNigeriaGreatAgain #BrainDrain #Japada #NigerianDiaspora #BadGovernance #Accountability #YouthEmpowerment #NaijaForLife

    For further discussion on how to improve the situation in Nigeria, subscribe to my blog, email me on folu@thisisfolu.uk ; follow me on Instagram @iamfolupreneur ; TikTok @mumandsonakintade

  • Autism: A Mind Unbounded by Norms

    Autism is often portrayed as a mysterious, enigmatic condition—a puzzle that the world is still trying to piece together. But for those who live with autism and those who love them, it is not just a condition; it’s a unique way of experiencing the world, a mind that dances to a different rhythm, sees in patterns, and speaks through actions rather than words. This is especially true for my son, Akintade, a 28-year-old who is non verbal, yet his mind communicates in ways that leave us in awe.

    A Puzzle Master with a Brilliant Mind

    Akintade has a talent that can only be described as extraordinary. He is a master of puzzles, not just in the figurative sense but literally. He can solve thousands of puzzles in a matter of minutes, piecing together images, colors, and shapes with an ease that most of us can only dream of. Watching him work is like witnessing a form of magic—each piece falling into place as if guided by an unseen hand.

    It’s more than just a skill; it’s a window into how his brain is wired. For Akintade, puzzles are not just a game; they are a language, a way of expressing thoughts and ideas that he cannot convey with words. It’s as though the pieces he connects are reflections of his thoughts, laid out on the table for the world to see.

    The Human GPS: A Mind that Maps

    One of Akintade’s most astonishing abilities is his uncanny sense of location. Imagine walking through a massive car park, vehicles scattered everywhere, and within minutes, Akintade can pinpoint exactly where a particular car is parked. This ability is not a fluke or a party trick; it is a demonstration of his extraordinary memory and spatial awareness.

    This skill harkens back to when Akintade was just over six months old. Even then, he demonstrated an almost superhuman ability to remember where he had left his toys. Days could pass, but when he wanted that toy again, he would go straight to the exact spot where he had left it. It was as though his mind mapped the world around him with such precision that nothing ever got lost.

    Autism: The Brain Unwasted

    The term “brain wasted” is often thrown around when discussing individuals with autism, especially those who are non-verbal. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Akintade’s brain is anything but wasted; it is a reservoir of untapped potential, a vessel for talents and abilities that defy conventional understanding.

    Autism does not diminish intelligence or worth; it redirects it, molds it into different forms that can be just as beautiful, just as powerful, and just as meaningful as the typical paths. Akintade’s abilities remind us that intelligence is not one-dimensional. It is not solely defined by speech or traditional learning; it is a spectrum of capabilities, each shining in its own light.

    Embracing the Spectrum

    As a society, it’s time we expand our understanding of what it means to be intelligent, to be talented, to be human. Akintade’s story is one of many that highlights the beauty of neurodiversity—the idea that variations in the human brain are not deficiencies, but rather different ways of seeing and interacting with the world.

    For parents, caregivers, and anyone who loves someone with autism, the journey is not always easy. There are challenges, moments of frustration, and times when the world feels isolating. But there are also moments of pure wonder, like watching your son solve a puzzle in seconds or marvel at how he can find a car in a sea of vehicles without breaking a sweat.

    Autism is not a brain wasted; it’s a brain differently used. And in that difference, there is beauty, there is brilliance, and there is the undeniable truth that every mind, no matter how it functions, has the potential to contribute something extraordinary to the world.

    A Call to Action

    Let Akintade’s story serve as a reminder to look beyond the conventional, to appreciate the hidden talents that might not be immediately visible, and to celebrate the incredible abilities that individuals with autism bring to the table. Their contributions are not lesser; they are just different, and often, those differences are what make the world a richer, more vibrant place.

    If you are a parent, caregiver, or educator, I encourage you to foster the unique talents of individuals with autism. Advocate for their inclusion in every aspect of life and support research and initiatives that seek to understand and celebrate neurodiversity.

    Let’s share these stories and challenge the outdated notion of “brain wasted.” Together, we can build a world that values every mind, every talent, and every individual for the unique contributions they bring to our world. One day, I will share Akintade’s story, it’s bound to be mind-blowing! Watch this page!

    #AutismAwareness #Neurodiversity #AutismAcceptance #SavantSkills #AutismParenting #InclusionMatters #CelebrateDifferences #PuzzleMaster #UniqueAbilities #BrainUnwasted

  • From Humble Beginnings to Greatness: A Legacy of Perseverance and Focus

    Greatness often springs from the most humble beginnings, a testament to the power of focus, perseverance, and the unyielding spirit to transcend one’s circumstances. Such is the story of my father, a man whose journey from an unlettered family to becoming a revered figure in Nigeria’s history is both inspiring and instructive.

    Born into a family with little access to education, my father’s early years were marked by the challenges typical of rural life. Yet, in a twist of fate, he was granted the rare opportunity to attend school in a neighboring town. This chance was not just a stroke of luck; it was the first step on a path that would lead him to greatness.

    At school, my father distinguished himself as a diligent and bright student. His hard work paid off when he won a scholarship to attend St. Andrews College in Oyo, one of the pioneering educational institutions of the time. It was here that he met George Button, a man who would become the pivotal figure in his life. George Button, an Englishman with a deep commitment to nurturing potential, saw something special in my father and decided to sponsor his education further.

    With George Button’s support, my father was able to attend Durham University in the United Kingdom. This was a monumental achievement, considering the era and the socio-economic barriers he had to overcome. At Durham, he excelled academically, proving that with the right support and determination, even the most unlikely individuals can achieve greatness.

    Returning to Nigeria, my father’s career took off rapidly. He held various high-flying jobs, his talents and skills earning him recognition and respect. His ascent reached its pinnacle when he was appointed Minister of State in Nigeria’s first republic, a role that allowed him to influence national policies and contribute to the country’s development.

    Despite his professional success, my father’s greatest legacy is arguably his contribution to education in Nigeria. In memory of his benefactor, George Button, he founded a school that has since become a beacon of learning and excellence. This institution stands as a testament to the transformative power of education and the enduring impact of mentorship and support.

    Though my father has passed on, his legacy continues to inspire. The school he founded not only commemorates George Button’s generosity but also embodies my father’s belief in the potential of every individual to achieve greatness, regardless of their beginnings.

    My father’s life story underscores an essential truth: greatness is not predestined. It is the result of relentless focus, unwavering perseverance, and the ability to rise above the noise of doubt and adversity. His journey from a humble village boy to a statesman and an educational pioneer serves as a powerful reminder that with dedication and the right opportunities, anything is possible.

    As we go about our week, let us draw inspiration from my father’s story. Let us remember that our beginnings do not determine our destiny; our actions and attitudes do. By staying focused, persevering through challenges, and seizing the opportunities that come our way, we too can carve out our own paths to greatness. Have a great week ahead!

    #Greatness #Inspiration #Perseverance #Focus #Legacy #Education #Mentorship #HumbleBeginnings #SuccessStory #NeverGiveUp #NigerianHistory #Scholarship #Determination #Transformation #BeTheChange #MondayMotivation #LifeLessons #FamilyLegacy #DreamBig #MakeADifference