Thisisfolu.co.uk

Category: family

  • Celebrating Mental Health Day: A Call for Compassion and Care

    Mental health is an essential aspect of our overall well-being, yet it is often misunderstood and stigmatized in society. As we celebrate Mental Health Day, let’s take a moment to understand what mental health truly is, why it’s important, and how we can all contribute to a world that values mental well-being just as much as physical health.

    What is Mental Health?

    Mental health refers to our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, shaping the way we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices in life. Like physical health, mental health exists on a spectrum—it can be strong and resilient at times, or fragile and in need of support at others. Maintaining good mental health is crucial to leading a fulfilling life, and it requires intentional care and attention.

    Taking Care of Mental Health

    Just as we exercise and eat well to maintain our physical health, we must practice habits that support our mental well-being. Some ways to take care of mental health include:

    • Regular exercise: Physical activity releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters.
    • Balanced diet: Nourishing your body with healthy foods supports brain function and emotional stability.
    • Adequate sleep: Sleep plays a vital role in restoring and refreshing the mind.
    • Mindfulness and relaxation: Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can help reduce stress.
    • Social connections: Building and maintaining supportive relationships is essential for emotional health.
    • Seeking help when needed: Reaching out to a therapist or counsellor can provide the tools and guidance to navigate difficult times.

    Types of Mental Health Issues

    Mental health conditions come in many forms, each affecting people in different ways. Some of the most common include:

    • Anxiety disorders: Characterised by excessive fear, worry, and nervousness, anxiety can interfere with daily activities.
    • Depression: A mood disorder marked by prolonged feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in activities.
    • Bipolar disorder: Causes extreme mood swings, including emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).
    • Schizophrenia: A severe mental disorder affecting thinking, perception, and behavior, often involving hallucinations or delusions.
    • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): A condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event.
    • Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): Involves unwanted, repetitive thoughts and behaviours that individuals feel compelled to perform.

    The Stigma of Mental Health in Society

    Despite the prevalence of mental health issues, there remains a significant societal stigma attached to them. This stigma is often fueled by misinformation, fear, and a lack of understanding, leading to discrimination, isolation, and shame for those affected. People with mental health conditions are sometimes viewed as “weak” or “dangerous,” which discourages them from seeking help and exacerbates their struggles.

    Cultural Perceptions of Mental Health

    Perceptions of mental health vary across cultures, with unique stigmas, support systems, and treatments.

    In African cultures, mental health is often viewed through a lens of spirituality. Mental illness may be attributed to curses, witchcraft, or ancestral displeasure. Due to these beliefs, people with mental health conditions may face extreme stigma and be excluded from their communities. While traditional healers play a role in treatment, access to modern mental health care is limited in many African countries. However, there are growing efforts to integrate mental health services into primary care systems and raise awareness about the scientific understanding of mental health.

    In Asian cultures, mental health is often a taboo subject, with a strong emphasis on maintaining “face” and honour within the family and community. This leads to a reluctance to acknowledge mental health struggles, as they are seen as signs of personal or familial failure. In some cases, mental illness is concealed, and those affected may not receive the support they need. However, in recent years, there has been a shift in certain Asian societies, with more people advocating for open conversations about mental health and access to professional help.

    In Western cultures, mental health is increasingly recognised as a vital component of overall health, with a focus on therapy, medication, and community support. While stigma still exists, especially around severe mental health conditions, there is a growing movement toward normalizing mental health care. Public campaigns, mental health education, and increased access to services have helped to reduce some of the stigma and provide more comprehensive treatment options. However, disparities in access to mental health care, particularly for marginalized communities, remain a significant issue.

    Stigmatization, Support, and Treatment Across Cultures

    Across all cultures, stigma remains a barrier to mental health care. Whether it’s the fear of being ostracized or a lack of understanding, stigma prevents many from seeking help. However, support systems and treatment methods are evolving globally. Traditional beliefs are being challenged, and mental health advocates are working tirelessly to promote understanding and compassion. In many countries, there is a growing recognition of the need for mental health education, awareness campaigns, and government policies that prioritize mental health care.

    Ways to Improve Mental Health

    As individuals and as a society, there are many ways we can improve mental health:

    • Open conversations: Normalize discussions around mental health to reduce stigma and encourage seeking help.
    • Support networks: Build strong support systems, including family, friends, and mental health professionals.
    • Access to care: Advocate for affordable and accessible mental health services for everyone, regardless of their background or location.
    • Education: Promote mental health education in schools, workplaces, and communities to foster early intervention and prevention.
    • Self-care: Prioritize self-care practices that nurture mental health, such as mindfulness, relaxation, and positive social interactions.

    A Call to Action

    On this Mental Health Day, I urge you to take a step toward kindness and compassion. Befriend and support at least one person struggling with mental health issues. Whether it’s offering a listening ear, checking in regularly, or simply being present, your support can make a world of difference. Let us all commit to being kinder to one another, not just today, but every day. Let’s break the silence around mental health, challenge the stigma, and create a culture of understanding and empathy.

    Remember, your mental health is just as important as your physical health—don’t take it for granted. Take care of yourself, and be there for others. Together, we can create a world where mental health is celebrated, understood, and supported.

    Email folu@thisisfolu.uk to discuss how my charity (Instagram @autismtreatmentsi ) can help if you need to talk about mental health issues. I found Lifewave Patches very useful for maintaining good mental health. Visit https://stemcellactivatepatches.com to read more about Lifewave stem cell patches.

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  • Polygamy in Africa: Origins, Family Dynamics, and Societal Impact

    Polygamy, a practice deeply embedded in many African cultures, has existed for centuries, long before the introduction of colonial rule and the spread of Western norms. Its origins are often tied to agricultural and pastoral societies where large families were seen as an economic asset. Men, particularly those with wealth or status, would marry multiple wives to increase the labor force for farming, herd tending, and household chores, while also ensuring the continuation of family lineage.

    While polygamy has historical roots and was seen as beneficial in sustaining communities, the modern implications of such arrangements are much more complex. Having multiple wives within one household brings a host of challenges that affect not only the wives but also the children born into such marriages.

    Family Dynamics: Benefits and Issues

    In a polygamous household, the husband is tasked with providing for multiple families, which can become a struggle, especially in economic downturns. The wives may bond over shared responsibilities or become rivals, vying for the husband’s time, resources, and affection. This rivalry can breed tension, jealousy, and competition, which may strain relationships between wives, children, and the husband.

    Some families, despite these challenges, thrive in polygamous setups. The shared burden of housework and childcare can create a support system, especially in rural areas where communal living and shared responsibilities are normalized. However, in many cases, the downsides outweigh these benefits.

    Effects on Children: Hustling for Survival

    Children in polygamous families often experience intense competition for basic necessities such as food, clothing, education, and affection from their father. With a limited amount of resources to go around, children may feel neglected and have to grow up quickly, learning to fend for themselves at an early age. Many children in such households become “hustlers” out of necessity—working odd jobs, begging, or engaging in petty trade to help their mothers support the family.

    Moreover, in their constant quest for the father’s approval or attention, children may develop deep-seated feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. This competition can leave lasting emotional scars, making them distrustful or overly competitive as they transition into adulthood.

    Impact on Wives: Rivalry and Diabolical Means

    The intense competition between wives for their husband’s favor can lead to extreme measures. In some unfortunate cases, wives resort to diabolical practices, including witchcraft or spiritual manipulation, to gain the upper hand in securing their husband’s affection or financial support. Some even harm their stepchildren out of jealousy or a desire to ensure that their own children have a better chance of receiving more resources.

    This toxic environment not only disrupts the household but also affects the emotional and mental well-being of all involved. The constant stress, fear, and competition take a toll, leaving many women in such marriages feeling isolated and anxious.

    Long-term Effects on Adults Raised in Polygamous Families

    Adults raised in polygamous households often carry the emotional baggage of their childhood experiences. The lack of emotional stability, constant competition, and potential neglect can lead to trust issues, relationship problems, or a deep-rooted fear of commitment. Many grow up with a skewed sense of family dynamics, often struggling to form healthy, monogamous relationships of their own. In worst-case scenarios, the cycle of polygamy continues as these individuals seek to replicate what they have known, perpetuating the struggles of their upbringing.

    Impact on Society: Polygamy vs. Monogamy

    On a societal level, polygamy can contribute to social stratification and inequality. Wealthier men are able to afford multiple wives and larger families, while poorer men may struggle to marry at all. This creates an imbalance in the population, potentially leading to social unrest or tensions within communities. Furthermore, the large number of children in polygamous families, often with limited resources, can strain societal systems like education, healthcare, and social services.

    In contrast, monogamy, which is more common in the Western world, tends to promote more nuclear family structures. With a single wife and fewer children, there is often more focus on individual development, emotional stability, and financial planning. Monogamous relationships tend to distribute resources more evenly within the family unit, providing a more secure environment for children to grow up in.

    While monogamy is not without its challenges, such as divorce or emotional distance between spouses, it generally provides a more balanced foundation for societal stability. In Western societies, where monogamy is the norm, individuals are less likely to feel the intense competition for resources and affection that is so common in polygamous families.

    The Debate: Polygamy vs. Monogamy

    Polygamy and monogamy each have their own unique sets of advantages and challenges. Polygamy can offer a large support system within the family and foster a strong sense of community, especially in rural areas where manual labor is necessary. However, the emotional, financial, and psychological strain on the family members often outweighs these benefits.

    Monogamy, on the other hand, encourages emotional intimacy and provides more stability for both partners and their children. It allows for greater financial security and focused parental attention, contributing to the overall well-being of the family. While monogamy is not without its problems—such as infidelity or lack of emotional fulfillment—it often results in healthier family dynamics compared to polygamous marriages.

    Conclusion: Which is Better?

    In the end, the choice between polygamy and monogamy depends on cultural values, economic circumstances, and individual preferences. However, in a modern context, where emotional stability, financial security, and individual well-being are increasingly valued, monogamy seems to offer more long-term benefits for families and society as a whole. While polygamy may still hold cultural significance in some African societies, the evolving social and economic landscape suggests that monogamy might provide a more sustainable path forward.

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  • The Wholeness of a Black Woman in a Multiracial World

    Once upon a time, in a small village deep in the heart of Africa, a baby girl named Zuri was born. Though her name meant “beautiful,” her birth came with expectations that weighed heavy on her small shoulders. Unlike the boys in her village who were celebrated with open arms and hopes for greatness, Zuri’s future was clear: she would marry, cook, and care for her husband and children. In many ways, her dreams were irrelevant. Education, ambition, and success were words reserved for the boys, while girls like her were expected to dutifully obey.

    As Zuri grew, she watched the boys head to school, while she stayed behind to help with chores. In some parts of the world, even today, girls are denied an education, with society dictating that their role is not to achieve but to serve. The very idea of a woman having dreams outside her home, of aspiring to anything beyond marriage and motherhood, is often met with disapproval. And while men in her community were free to marry as many women as they pleased, the thought of a woman being unfaithful—even when her husband strayed—was considered unforgivable. Zuri was taught that a man could roam, but a woman must remain loyal, no matter the circumstances.

    The Migration Effect on Black African Women

    The story of the Black African woman doesn’t end within the borders of her village. Migration has played a significant role in shaping her journey. As African women move to new lands in search of better opportunities, they often find themselves navigating worlds that see them as outsiders. While many seek new beginnings, they quickly realize that the challenges of being both Black and a woman transcend borders.

    In the corporate world, Black women are often made to feel invisible. Despite working harder and longer than their counterparts, they are frequently overlooked for top roles. Their qualifications, achievements, and ambitions are dismissed, as they are reduced to mere tokens—symbols to satisfy a company’s diversity policy rather than being recognized for their true potential. They may fill positions on paper, but in boardrooms and decision-making spaces, they are often treated as though they don’t belong.

    This feeling of inadequacy is compounded by the unspoken yet deeply felt pressure to work twice as hard for half the recognition. A Black woman in the corporate world is not only expected to prove herself professionally but also to maintain the grace and strength demanded of her by society. At the end of her long workday, she still goes home to cook, clean, and care for her family. No matter how high she rises in her career, the expectation that she must “manage the home” remains, as if her worth as a woman is tied to how well she fulfills these traditional roles.

    The Silent Strength of Black Women

    Black women are raised to be resilient. From a young age, they are taught the virtues of long-suffering and tolerance, encouraged to wear smiles that mask the injustices, pain, and discouragement they face. Even in moments of deep hurt or frustration, they are expected to endure quietly, because that’s what society expects from them. They carry the weight of not just their personal struggles, but of their communities and families, with grace and a smile.

    But make no mistake, Black women are not invisible. And in recent years, they are beginning to realize the full extent of their power.

    In the last decade, Black women have begun shattering the glass ceilings that once seemed impenetrable. No longer content with being relegated to the sidelines, they are claiming their space in cities across the world. They are stepping into boardrooms, leading companies, and building careers that their grandmothers could have only dreamed of. And all while raising some of the brightest, most capable children in society.

    Their journey to the top has been anything but easy. They’ve faced countless obstacles, from systemic racism to gender discrimination. But instead of being defeated by these challenges, they have grown stronger, more determined, and more vocal. Slowly but surely, they are changing the narrative for Black girls around the world.

    Saluting the Black Woman

    As I write this piece, I want to take a moment to salute the Black women who are working day and night, raising their heads in pride and reshaping the world for future generations. You may not always be seen, but your impact is undeniable. You are raising the next generation of leaders, scholars, innovators, and changemakers. Your resilience, your strength, your unwavering determination are the cornerstones upon which future Black girls will build their dreams.

    Black women may not always be recognised for their contributions, but make no mistake: you are making history every single day. You are proving, time and time again, that Black women are more than capable, that they are not only fit to lead but that they are essential in reshaping the world.

    The Wholeness of a Black Woman in a Multiracial World

    Once upon a time, in a small village deep in the heart of Africa, a baby girl named Zuri was born. Though her name meant “beautiful,” her birth came with expectations that weighed heavy on her small shoulders. Unlike the boys in her village who were celebrated with open arms and hopes for greatness, Zuri’s future was clear: she would marry, cook, and care for her husband and children. In many ways, her dreams were irrelevant. Education, ambition, and success were words reserved for the boys, while girls like her were expected to dutifully obey.

    As Zuri grew, she watched the boys head to school, while she stayed behind to help with chores. In some parts of the world, even today, girls are denied an education, with society dictating that their role is not to achieve but to serve. The very idea of a woman having dreams outside her home, of aspiring to anything beyond marriage and motherhood, is often met with disapproval. And while men in her community were free to marry as many women as they pleased, the thought of a woman being unfaithful—even when her husband strayed—was considered unforgivable. Zuri was taught that a man could roam, but a woman must remain loyal, no matter the circumstances.

    The Migration Effect on Black African Women

    The story of the Black African woman doesn’t end within the borders of her village. Migration has played a significant role in shaping her journey. As African women move to new lands in search of better opportunities, they often find themselves navigating worlds that see them as outsiders. While many seek new beginnings, they quickly realize that the challenges of being both Black and a woman transcend borders.

    In the corporate world, Black women are often made to feel invisible. Despite working harder and longer than their counterparts, they are frequently overlooked for top roles. Their qualifications, achievements, and ambitions are dismissed, as they are reduced to mere tokens—symbols to satisfy a company’s diversity policy rather than being recognized for their true potential. They may fill positions on paper, but in boardrooms and decision-making spaces, they are often treated as though they don’t belong.

    This feeling of inadequacy is compounded by the unspoken yet deeply felt pressure to work twice as hard for half the recognition. A Black woman in the corporate world is not only expected to prove herself professionally but also to maintain the grace and strength demanded of her by society. At the end of her long workday, she still goes home to cook, clean, and care for her family. No matter how high she rises in her career, the expectation that she must “manage the home” remains, as if her worth as a woman is tied to how well she fulfills these traditional roles.

    The Silent Strength of Black Women

    Black women are raised to be resilient. From a young age, they are taught the virtues of long-suffering and tolerance, encouraged to wear smiles that mask the injustices, pain, and discouragement they face. Even in moments of deep hurt or frustration, they are expected to endure quietly, because that’s what society expects from them. They carry the weight of not just their personal struggles, but of their communities and families, with grace and a smile.

    But make no mistake, Black women are not invisible. And in recent years, they are beginning to realize the full extent of their power.

    In the last decade, Black women have begun shattering the glass ceilings that once seemed impenetrable. No longer content with being relegated to the sidelines, they are claiming their space in cities across the world. They are stepping into boardrooms, leading companies, and building careers that their grandmothers could have only dreamed of. And all while raising some of the brightest, most capable children in society.

    Their journey to the top has been anything but easy. They’ve faced countless obstacles, from systemic racism to gender discrimination. But instead of being defeated by these challenges, they have grown stronger, more determined, and more vocal. Slowly but surely, they are changing the narrative for Black girls around the world.

    Saluting the Black Woman

    As I write this piece, I want to take a moment to salute the Black women who are working day and night, raising their heads in pride and reshaping the world for future generations. You may not always be seen, but your impact is undeniable. You are raising the next generation of leaders, scholars, innovators, and changemakers. Your resilience, your strength, your unwavering determination are the cornerstones upon which future Black girls will build their dreams.

    Black women may not always be recognised for their contributions, but make no mistake: you are making history every single day. You are proving, time and time again, that Black women are more than capable, that they are not only fit to lead but that they are essential in reshaping the world.

    Tag a Black woman you want to give her flowers to this Black History Month. Let her know that she is seen, appreciated, and celebrated! ✨

    To all my Black sisters reading this, take your flowers. You are the embodiment of resilience and beauty, and the world is better because of you. We are not invisible. We are not second-class. We are powerful, brilliant, and capable of anything we set our minds to.

    As we celebrate Black History Month, let us remember the Black girl child who, despite the odds stacked against her, will one day rule the world. She is the Zuri of her generation—a girl who dares to dream beyond her circumstances, who knows that she is whole, powerful, and destined for greatness.

    To all the strong, powerful Black women in my life, this is for you: #BlackExcellence, #BlackGirlMagic, #BlackWomenInPower, #WomenOfColorInTech, #ResilientBlackWomen, #CelebratingBlackWomen, #BlackHistoryMonth, #BlackAndProud, #BlackDon’tCrack!

    We are changing the narrative, and the world is watching. Let’s continue to rise, let’s continue to break down barriers, and let’s continue to hold our heads high.

    Truly, Black don’t crack! 👑

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  • An Open Letter to My Son with the Most Beautiful Mind, Akintade

    My dearest Akintade,

    You are my first child, the child of my youth, my womb opener. I still vividly remember when you were diagnosed with autism at just 2.5 years old. Before that moment, I noticed some early signs—things that made me worry deeply. You struggled to maintain eye contact, didn’t respond to your name the way I expected, and often seemed distant, as if the world around you was too overwhelming. I watched you retreat into your own space, and my heart ached. Those days were filled with fear, worry, and endless trips to doctors and specialists. I was searching for answers, desperate to understand what was happening, and terrified for your little brother, who I carried in my womb at the time. I was paranoid, afraid, and confused.

    The day your brother was born, I cried. I remember holding him in my arms and apologizing to my tiny baby. I felt guilt—guilt for not being able to give him a brother who would sing to him, rock him to sleep, or grow up alongside him in the way I had always imagined. I wonder if you saw the fear in my eyes during those times. There were moments when you would cry, then suddenly stop, turning to look at me as if you understood. It was as though you knew my fears without me ever having to say a word.

    Since then, I have fought many battles—strangers giving us looks, hospitals for the right treatment, social services for the support we needed, and the educational system for a school that would be the best fit for you. I threw myself into work, determined to give you the best life I could. There have been days when I felt exhausted, but each small progress you made kept us going. Every step forward you’ve taken has been a prayer answered. Even if parents of neurotypical children might not understand, I celebrate every little milestone, for they are victories for you and for us.

    Akintade, you have come so far. You can now sit calmly, communicate in your own way, and make sense of the world around you on your terms. I’ve learned that God’s beauty shines through our children in different ways, each one unique. People often ask me when you’ll get a job, get married, or have children of your own. What they don’t realise is that God’s miracles unfold in their own time. I am overjoyed with the things you can do now—the things I once thought you might never be able to achieve. You tidy up your own centre, the Tade Autism Centre, organizing everything for yourself and the others who benefit from it. Without any spoken word or formal contract, you’ve earned your place as the CEO of your own centre. God has truly been good to you, my son.

    I look to God every day as He continues to reveal His special plan for your life. Through it all, I’ve faced challenges, persecution, and pain because of the world’s lack of understanding, but it has opened my eyes to the greater things God has in store. As a Christian, I trust that He makes everything beautiful in His time, and I will forever be grateful for the precious gift that is you.

    I love you always,
    Your mother

    Folu

    Founder Tade Autism centre , Autism Treatment Support initiatives

    You can follow Take Autism Centre on Instagram @tadeautism.center

    @autismtreatmentsi

    #AutismAwareness #GodsPlan #SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismDiagnosis #FaithInTheJourney #ParentingWithLove #AutismAcceptance #StrengthInLove #Neurodiversity #TadeAutismCentre

  • Nigeria at 64: The Back and Forth Dance of Independence

    Today I write about my motherland Nigeria @ 64. On October 1st, 1960, Nigeria stood tall and proud, waving its green and white flag to the world as it declared itself free from the colonial chains of the British Empire. The country’s leaders beamed with optimism, painting a vision of a nation brimming with untapped potential—rich in natural resources, diverse in culture, and robust in its people’s resolve. The independence journey was hard-fought, marked by fierce debates, protests, and a collective desire to govern our own destiny. The world believed Nigeria was poised to become the shining beacon of Africa.

    But here we are, 64 years later, and that glimmer of hope has dimmed significantly. The same Nigeria that was once called the “Giant of Africa” seems stuck in an endless loop of back and forth. Progress is promised, but stagnation remains the reality.

    The Nigerian economy, once poised to flourish, has been battered by decades of mismanagement, corruption, and inconsistent policies. It’s a tale as old as time: oil booms have been squandered, agricultural potential left untapped, and opportunities for industrial growth missed. The country struggles under the weight of bad governance, where leaders are more focused on self-enrichment than national development. With rising inflation, unemployment, and a weak currency, it’s no wonder that millions of Nigerians find it increasingly difficult to make ends meet.

    This bleak situation has sparked an exodus—what we now refer to as brain drain. Our brightest minds, who once believed in the Nigerian dream, are now packing their bags and leaving for greener pastures. Doctors, engineers, teachers, tech experts, creatives—professionals who could have helped steer the nation towards greatness are finding solace abroad. The impact is devastating. Hospitals are understaffed, schools are ill-equipped, and innovation is stunted. The tech experts who could revolutionize industries are now building empires in Silicon Valley, London, or Dubai, while Nigeria is left to grapple with inadequate infrastructure and a stalling economy.

    The brain drain isn’t just a loss of talent; it’s a loss of hope. Every Nigerian that leaves represents another crack in the foundation of what could have been. The aftermath of bad governance is felt in the streets—young people unemployed, industries crippled, and the collective spirit of the nation worn down by the weight of broken promises.

    But what’s the way forward?

    First, we must tackle bad governance head-on. It starts with accountability. Leaders should be held to higher standards, and citizens must demand transparency. Economic policies need to be long-term, stable, and designed to empower local businesses, create jobs, and foster innovation. We need to diversify away from oil dependency and instead focus on agriculture, manufacturing, and tech. Nigeria should be a hub for startups, innovation, and industrial growth.

    Next, we must create an environment that makes it attractive for Nigerians in the diaspora to return home—what I call the “Japada Movement.” This isn’t just about patriotism; it’s about providing incentives. We need better infrastructure, access to capital for startups, and policies that favor job creation and innovation. The diaspora is a wellspring of talent, and by opening the doors wide enough, we can welcome back doctors, engineers, and innovators with the skills and experience necessary to drive the country forward.

    Lastly, the youth must be empowered. They are the future of Nigeria, and investing in education, skills training, and entrepreneurship is essential. By nurturing the next generation, we lay the groundwork for sustainable growth.

    Nigeria, despite its back-and-forth struggles, has not lost its potential. The road may be long and winding, but with collective effort and leadership that places the people’s interest above all else, we can reclaim our position as the true Giant of Africa.

    So, as we celebrate another Independence Day, let’s remember our journey—the highs, the lows, the steps forward, and the stumbles backward. Let’s reflect on where we are and what we can become. Together, we can make Nigeria great again.

    Happy Independence Day, Nigeria! May we rise above our challenges and soar higher than ever before.

    Share your memories!
    How did you celebrate past Independence Days? How are you spending today? Share your favorite moments from Independence Day in the comments! 🇳🇬💚

    #NigeriaAt64 #IndependenceDay #GiantOfAfrica #MakeNigeriaGreatAgain #BrainDrain #Japada #NigerianDiaspora #BadGovernance #Accountability #YouthEmpowerment #NaijaForLife

    For further discussion on how to improve the situation in Nigeria, subscribe to my blog, email me on folu@thisisfolu.uk ; follow me on Instagram @iamfolupreneur ; TikTok @mumandsonakintade

  • Autism: A Mind Unbounded by Norms

    Autism is often portrayed as a mysterious, enigmatic condition—a puzzle that the world is still trying to piece together. But for those who live with autism and those who love them, it is not just a condition; it’s a unique way of experiencing the world, a mind that dances to a different rhythm, sees in patterns, and speaks through actions rather than words. This is especially true for my son, Akintade, a 28-year-old who is non verbal, yet his mind communicates in ways that leave us in awe.

    A Puzzle Master with a Brilliant Mind

    Akintade has a talent that can only be described as extraordinary. He is a master of puzzles, not just in the figurative sense but literally. He can solve thousands of puzzles in a matter of minutes, piecing together images, colors, and shapes with an ease that most of us can only dream of. Watching him work is like witnessing a form of magic—each piece falling into place as if guided by an unseen hand.

    It’s more than just a skill; it’s a window into how his brain is wired. For Akintade, puzzles are not just a game; they are a language, a way of expressing thoughts and ideas that he cannot convey with words. It’s as though the pieces he connects are reflections of his thoughts, laid out on the table for the world to see.

    The Human GPS: A Mind that Maps

    One of Akintade’s most astonishing abilities is his uncanny sense of location. Imagine walking through a massive car park, vehicles scattered everywhere, and within minutes, Akintade can pinpoint exactly where a particular car is parked. This ability is not a fluke or a party trick; it is a demonstration of his extraordinary memory and spatial awareness.

    This skill harkens back to when Akintade was just over six months old. Even then, he demonstrated an almost superhuman ability to remember where he had left his toys. Days could pass, but when he wanted that toy again, he would go straight to the exact spot where he had left it. It was as though his mind mapped the world around him with such precision that nothing ever got lost.

    Autism: The Brain Unwasted

    The term “brain wasted” is often thrown around when discussing individuals with autism, especially those who are non-verbal. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Akintade’s brain is anything but wasted; it is a reservoir of untapped potential, a vessel for talents and abilities that defy conventional understanding.

    Autism does not diminish intelligence or worth; it redirects it, molds it into different forms that can be just as beautiful, just as powerful, and just as meaningful as the typical paths. Akintade’s abilities remind us that intelligence is not one-dimensional. It is not solely defined by speech or traditional learning; it is a spectrum of capabilities, each shining in its own light.

    Embracing the Spectrum

    As a society, it’s time we expand our understanding of what it means to be intelligent, to be talented, to be human. Akintade’s story is one of many that highlights the beauty of neurodiversity—the idea that variations in the human brain are not deficiencies, but rather different ways of seeing and interacting with the world.

    For parents, caregivers, and anyone who loves someone with autism, the journey is not always easy. There are challenges, moments of frustration, and times when the world feels isolating. But there are also moments of pure wonder, like watching your son solve a puzzle in seconds or marvel at how he can find a car in a sea of vehicles without breaking a sweat.

    Autism is not a brain wasted; it’s a brain differently used. And in that difference, there is beauty, there is brilliance, and there is the undeniable truth that every mind, no matter how it functions, has the potential to contribute something extraordinary to the world.

    A Call to Action

    Let Akintade’s story serve as a reminder to look beyond the conventional, to appreciate the hidden talents that might not be immediately visible, and to celebrate the incredible abilities that individuals with autism bring to the table. Their contributions are not lesser; they are just different, and often, those differences are what make the world a richer, more vibrant place.

    If you are a parent, caregiver, or educator, I encourage you to foster the unique talents of individuals with autism. Advocate for their inclusion in every aspect of life and support research and initiatives that seek to understand and celebrate neurodiversity.

    Let’s share these stories and challenge the outdated notion of “brain wasted.” Together, we can build a world that values every mind, every talent, and every individual for the unique contributions they bring to our world. One day, I will share Akintade’s story, it’s bound to be mind-blowing! Watch this page!

    #AutismAwareness #Neurodiversity #AutismAcceptance #SavantSkills #AutismParenting #InclusionMatters #CelebrateDifferences #PuzzleMaster #UniqueAbilities #BrainUnwasted

  • A Journey of Love, Loss, and Unyielding Strength: 42 Years Without Mum

    As a story teller, who finds tremendous joy and peace in writing, I write again today about my mum of blessed memory and the aftermath of her death.

    Forty-two years. It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed since I last saw her smile, felt the warmth of her embrace, and heard her voice—soft and soothing—whispering words of comfort. I was only 14 when my world shattered, when Mum was taken from us so suddenly, so painfully. She was just 39, full of life, love, and dreams that would never come to pass. Her departure left an emptiness that nothing could ever truly fill.

    Mum died during childbirth, I was no longer just the eldest child but a surrogate mother to my three younger sisters—aged 12, 10, and 4 years old. Our father, already in his 70s, was too frail to shoulder the burden alone. He did his best, but his age weighed heavily on him, and much of the responsibility fell on my young shoulders.

    The days that followed were a blur of grief, fear, and overwhelming responsibility. I had to grow up overnight. There was no time to process my loss, no space to mourn the mother I so desperately needed. My sisters looked to me for guidance, for comfort, for a semblance of normalcy in a world that had turned upside down. I did my best to be strong for them, to be the pillar they could lean on. But inside, I was just a broken child, struggling to keep my head above water in a sea of sorrow.

    As the years passed, the weight of responsibility grew heavier. When Dad passed away just five years later, at 19, I found myself orphaned, alone in the truest sense, but with three little girls depending on me. University was a challenge I could hardly face. While my peers worried about grades and social life, I was juggling school work with the demands of raising my sisters. Every day was a battle—to keep up with my studies, to keep the household running, to keep from falling apart.

    But we made it through. Against all odds, I graduated. My sisters, my beautiful, resilient sisters, each followed in my footsteps. They graduated too, found love, built families of their own, and pursued careers with a passion that made me prouder than words could ever express. We grew up fast, perhaps too fast, but we emerged stronger, bound by a love that had been forged in the crucible of our shared pain.

    Today marks 42 years since Mum left us. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, don’t wonder what life would have been like if she had been there to guide us, to share in our joys and comfort us in our sorrows. I see her in my sisters, in their kindness, their strength, their determination. I see her in my children, in their laughter, their curiosity, their love for life.

    Though she’s been gone for so long, Mum’s presence has never left us. She lives on in the love that binds our family, in the memories that sustain us, in the lessons she taught us through the brief time we had with her.

    Today, I am grateful. Grateful for the strength that saw us through the darkest days. Grateful for the love that carried us when we had nothing else to hold onto. Grateful for the grace that has brought us this far. We have built lives that honor her memory, lives filled with purpose, with love, with a determination to make the most of the time we have been given.

    Mum, I miss you more than words can say. But I know you’re watching over us, proud of the people we’ve become. We’ve done our best, Mum. We’ve lived, we’ve loved, and we’ve carried on—just as you would have wanted us to.

    Thank you for being our guiding light, even in your absence. Here’s to the love that never dies, to the memories that never fade, and to the legacy that lives on in all of us.

    Forever in our hearts, Mum. We love you always.

    Feel free to share your story in the comments or reach out if you need support, counseling, or a few words of encouragement. If you prefer one-on-one counseling, send me a direct message

    #MothersLove #FamilyStrength #LossAndHealing#GriefJourney#Sisterhood#Resilience#OrphanedTooYoung#ChildhoodLoss#MotherlessDaughters#GraduationAgainstTheOdds#InLovingMemory#ForeverGrateful#LegacyOfLove#LifeAfterLoss#FamilyFirst